Video Review: Average Joe Dildo - The Bartender Miguel

Let me introduce myself to you all. I’m Carolyn and I’m the head toy buyer at Betty’s Toy Box. I get to play with a lot of the stuff that we carry and tell you all about it. I’m one lucky lady.

I’m going to introduce you to one of our site’s absolute bestsellers. You may think “oh, it’s a Lelo or a rabbit” but you would be 100% wrong. It’s the handsome devil pictured here: The Bartender Miguel dildo, which is part of the Average Joe line by Topco Sales.

The reason, I think, for this whole line of dildos being so popular is exactly what it says on the box. These guys are Average Joes – average size and average length with a really nice array of skin tones available.

Miguel is a beautiful medium tan color, slightly veiny, with a very cut look to him, a nice bulbous head and some soft, realistic testicles. He is 7 inches long, with 6 inches of insertable length (that’s the part that can go inside you) and 5 inches girth. The material is thermoplastic rubber, or TPR, which gives him a soft feel and a great bendability. Because he doesn’t vibrate, he doesn’t have the hard core that vibrating dildos may have, so check out the video to see exactly how bendy Miguel can be.

Although Miguel does have a suction cup and he does stick nicely to walls and tables (yes, I’ve tried), there is no way he is going to stay in place once the action heats up. If you think he’s coming with you to the shower and staying on the wall, prepare yourself for disappointment. This is, I believe, a case of “you get what you pay for” and any moderately priced dildo like this just isn’t going to have a strong enough cup. Miguel is, however, harness compatible and should fit in any standard o ring harness for some great partner fun.

One of the things I always notice and which I did appreciate with Miguel was that when I opened the package, he had a really neutral smell. I grew to appreciate this feature after a friend bought a dildo that smelt so strongly of rubbery plastic that she had to use a condom with it. The smell just wouldn’t go away no matter how many times she washed it!

Miguel is not an only child. We have the full line of Average Joes which include The Fitness Instructor Darnell who is a deep chocolatey color with a tantalizing slight tilt, The Construction Worker Victor, with more girth and a wonderful g-spot targeting curve, and The Professor Charles who is pale vanilla with a pronounced ridge. Each one has a slightly different length, girth, and shapes, just like a real guy but they are all well within the average spectrum.

You can enjoy Miguel and any of his cohorts in the tub. He is fully waterproof. It is recommended that you use a water based lubricant and your favorite toy cleaner but he does wash up very nicely with a little bit of mild soap and warm water.

I would recommend Miguel if you’re just starting out and you don’t know if you’re going to like a dildo or if you’re afraid that some of the ones out there may be more than you can handle. Even as something to add to your usual bag of tricks -solo or with a partner - or for beginner harness play, The Average Joe line is a great investment and for the price, you can’t go wrong.