I fully admit that by now I am a sex toy skeptic. There’s only so many times you can see something declared “revolutionary” before you just roll your eyes and toss it in the pile with other disappointments that made the same claim.
That’s why I have to be honest and say that I had the Evi Kegel Exerciser by Aneros for a while before I decided to bust it out and give it a try. Check out the picture and you can see why. What the heck was this thing? It was promising “hands free pleasure” by hitting the g-spot and clitoris simultaneously and all you need is a swivel of your hips? Oh, and it’s a kegel exerciser too? Riiiight.
I would now like to express my sincerest apologies to the lovely folks at Aneros for doubting their claims. There. I said it. Evi rocked my world.
I wasn’t planning on testing Evi today. It’s been a stressful week and I was cleaning up my toy cupboard when I saw its beautiful red and white box. It had been sitting there glaring accusingly at me for weeks and I finally succumbed to the guilt of neglecting it for so long. With Evi in one hand and some Aneros Sessions Lube in the other, I trudged to my bedroom to see what the fuss was about. I admit to some eye rolling on the way.
First, let me explain that Evi is not a small thing. You can see how it sits in the palm of my hand and I am fully admitting that I have pretty big hands for a woman. Man hands, in fact. I can barely close my palm over the bulbous end. It’s not gigantic by any means, at 5 inches (12.5 cm) around at its most bulbous point but you are meant to know that it’s in you. That’s the point.
The prong (terrible word but what else would you call it?) at the other end faces up so that when you put the device inside you, it is pointing up from your vaginal entrance towards your clitoris. It’s 3 ¼ inches (or 8.5 cm) long and is rigid beneath the silky smooth silicone that covers the entire device.
So, here’s how it works. Or at least how it worked for me.
Aneros advises you lay down somewhere and tilt your hips up to insert so I put some lube on the tip and gently inserted the bulbous end into my vagina. So far, so good. It was really easy to insert even though I was completely not in the mood. I was figuring that I would test it out for its kegel properties, be completely put off and call it a day. Yeah, not so much.
As far as a kegel exerciser goes, it’s okay, I guess. Its size and shape means that you really don’t have to do much to keep it in and the stem isn’t much to clench around. For a beginner to kegels, I would say that it’s a fine beginner tool. I clenched, I stood up and walked around. I even shimmied a little and bounced. It stayed put but I didn’t really feel like I had to clench tightly to keep it in. The outer stem is kind of an anchor that way.
So far, I was pleasantly surprised. I honestly expected something about this device to hit me the wrong way or poke in the wrong places, but it felt totally comfortable. Somewhat heartened, I moved on to step 2 – sexy times.
I lay down on the bed and thought about it for a second. Honestly, I could barely feel it was there. The manual says to slowly thrust your hips up with your feet planted on the bed. Ooh, now we were getting somewhere. It was definitely rubbing my g-spot and it felt nice – like using a g-spot dildo but without having to do the thrusting manually. Wait a minute! Isn’t that what Evi’s packaging actually said? Eureka!
Was it hitting my clitoris? Not so much. It was actually falling just a couple of millimetres shy but that’s just my anatomy. I seem to often have issues with things that are “one size fits all” in the sex toy department. It’s my lot in life whether it’s sex toys, clothes, or cute hats. I am pretty used to it by now, being a tall and large woman.
What to do? In a stroke of genius, I decided to sit on the edge of my bed with my feet on the floor. Bingo! The added pressure of sitting with Evi inside not only gave the clitoral stimulator that extra few millimetres to actually reach my clitoris but put more pressure of the bulb on my g-spot. By rocking slowly, I was getting somewhere… fast. The orgasm I had was absolutely knee shakingly good. My g-spot was one happy camper and I admit to having to lay back down for a bit to catch my breath.
So, now I am writing this review with a quite unexpected smile on my face. I love it when I’m pleasantly surprised by a new toy. Will you get the same results? I wish I could say, although even if Evi doesn’t rock your world, it would still make a good beginner kegel exerciser. What I can say is that they have obviously put some time and care and tons of research into this device. After all, Aneros is known for their amazing prostate play toys so it only makes sense that they would bring that level of dedication to their first product meant exclusively for women.
My recommendation? If you’re feeling like trying something totally new and you’re willing to take some time and exert some patience, Evi may be just the thing for you. I can honestly say, much to my own surprise, that this toy is going into my very own box of favorite toys that never leaves my bedside.
