Dildo Size Guide - How to Get the Right Length and Width: A Visual Guide
How to Choose the Right Length and Width for You
Choosing the right dildo size can feel like a big decision. You want it to look exciting, feel amazing, and match what your body actually enjoys. But if you’ve ever thought, “Is this too big?” or “Will this feel like enough?” you are not alone.
At Betty’s Toy Box, we help people find their perfect fit every single day. And here’s the truth our expert staff loves sharing: the best for you often size isn’t about going bigger. It’s about going smarter. When you choose the right length and width for your body and your goals, pleasure gets easier, confidence gets higher, and your whole experience feels more natural.
This guide breaks it all down in a simple, no-pressure way, so you can choose a dildo size you’ll genuinely love.
Why Dildo Size Matters More Than You Think
Size affects more than just appearance. It changes:
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How full you feel
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How easy it is to insert and use
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How much control you have during play
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Which internal pleasure zones you can reach
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Whether it feels relaxing or overwhelming
The right size makes pleasure feel smooth, easy, and exciting. The wrong size can feel uncomfortable, intimidating, or like you’re fighting your own toy instead of enjoying it.
Your body deserves better than that.
Start Here: What Do You Actually Want To Feel?
Before choosing measurements, get clear on your goal. Most customers fall into one of these pleasure categories.
If you want gentle, beginner-friendly exploration
You’ll usually enjoy:
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A slimmer width
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A moderate length - you can visit our collection of beginner dildos to explore items that are all 5.5 inches of insertable length or less (the length of an average penis)
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A smoother shape - often non-realistic silicone dildos are the way to do if you want smooth, and not veiny
This is perfect for building confidence, warming up, and learning what you like without pushing past your comfort zone.
If you want a “full” feeling
Fullness comes mostly from width, not length.
If you want that delicious stretched, satisfied sensation, focus on a slightly thicker girth rather than going super long. Around 1.75 inches in with is a good beginner exploration of stretch, but of course, this is all personal.
If you want deeper, more intense internal sensation
This is where length matters more, especially insertable length. With approximately 5.5 inches being considered average, a 7 inch insertable length is a manageable challenge for most people new to exploring depth.
But deeper isn’t always better. Too deep can hit the cervix, which some people can find uncomfortable. It’s better when you feel in control, relaxed, and ready for it.
If you want a toy that feels versatile
A middle-of-the-road size is often the best starting point. It gives you options without locking you into something too intense. We would usually recommend between 5.5 and 6 inches of insertable length and around 1.5 inches wide, which resembles the average penis size.
Length vs Width (and why they feel totally different)
A lot of people assume length is the main event. In reality, width is the real decider of intensity for most bodies.
This image is here to make dildo length feel way less mysterious by giving you a clear, confidence-boosting visual comparison. It highlights that the average erect penis size is about 5.1 to 5.5 inches, then lines up several toy lengths, 6, 8, 10, and 12 inches, so you can instantly see how “standard,” “long,” and “extra long” actually stack up. The ruler adds an easy real-world reference, because let’s be honest, numbers on a product page can feel abstract until you can picture them. And the woman's arm is based on the length of our fearless leader Carolyn's forearm. The big takeaway is that you don’t need the longest option to have an amazing experience. Choosing the right length is about what feels comfortable, what positions you love, and how much depth you actually want, not what looks most dramatic on the screen.
Length = how deep it can reach
Length affects:
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depth of sensation
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which positions feel best
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how much thrust space you have
But here’s the key: many toys look long, but the insertable length is what counts.
Width = how full it makes you feel
Width affects:
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stretch
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pressure
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comfort level
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how much warming up you may need
Even a small increase in girth can feel like a major upgrade in intensity.
Betty’s pro tip: If you’re unsure, size down in width before you size down in length. Too much width, too fast is the #1 reason people don’t end up loving their purchase.
Side note: We keep referring to width and girth, which are two different measurements. Width is the measurement from one side of an object to another. Girth is the measurement around the object. Dildo manufacturers are unfortunately fond of only providing width on their packaging, but you can estimate girth. (Sorry if we are bringing back nightmares of high school geometry for you. )
Girth (or the measurement around) is the width x 3.14. So, if a dildo is 1.5 inches across (a pretty average size), then it is 4.7 inches in girth.
This diagram is designed to take the guesswork out of understanding width and to give you a visual cue. It shows that an average soda can measures about 2.6 inches wide at its widest point, then layers smaller widths inside it at 2.5 inches, 2 inches, 1.5 inches, and 1 inch to help you visually grasp how girth increases. For context, keep in mind that the average erect penis is about 1.5 inches wide, giving you a relatable reference point when considering what different widths might feel like. The goal is to show that even small changes in width can noticeably change sensation, making it easier to choose a size that feels comfortable, exciting, and right for your body.
Understanding Insertable Length (The Number You Should Trust)
A dildo can look huge on the outside, but that doesn’t mean you’ll use the full length.
Many designs include:
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a suction base
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balls or a flared base
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a handle
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a curve that changes how it sits in the body
That’s why we always recommend checking insertable length, not just total length.
Quick confidence rule:
If you want a toy for easy, comfortable use, aim for a length that feels manageable even on your most relaxed day, not just your most adventurous mood.
How to Choose Width Without Guessing
If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed shopping online, it’s usually because width is hard to visualize.
Here are simple guidelines our staff uses when helping customers choose.
Slim sizes (1.5 inches and under in width) feel like:
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easy entry
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gentle pressure
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less warm-up needed
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great for beginners or sensitive days
Medium sizes (1.6 to 1.9inches in width) feel like:
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noticeable fullness
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satisfying pressure
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great “everyday favorite” territory
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ideal for most customers
Thick sizes (2 inches and up in width) feel like:
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a stretch-forward experience
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intense fullness
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more warm-up required
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best when you already know you love girth
Betty’s comfort truth: There’s nothing “advanced” about discomfort. Bigger is only better if it feels good for your body.
Texture, Shape, and Curve Change the Size Experience
Two toys can have the same measurements and feel completely different.
Smooth vs textured
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Smooth toys slide easier and often feel gentler
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Textured toys can feel bigger and more intense due to added friction
Straight vs curved
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Straight shapes are predictable and beginner-friendly
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Curved shapes can add targeted pressure that feels more intense, even at the same size
Tapered tips
A gentle taper can make a thicker toy feel more approachable, because the entry is gradual.
This is one of our favorite comfort meets excitement features.
Choosing a Size for Different Types of Play
For solo play
You’ll want something:
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comfortable to hold
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easy to angle
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easy to use with your preferred positions
A medium length is often ideal, since you have full control and don’t need extra length for positioning.
For partner play
A slightly longer toy can be helpful depending on the position, since you’re working with different angles and movement patterns.
For strap-on play
Choosing the right size is everything here.
A common first-time strap-on mistake is picking something that looks hot but feels hard to control. Or, picking what you think is just the right length but having most of it blocked by the harness.
We recommend:
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moderate length
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a shape that stays stable
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a width that feels pleasurable but manageable for the receiving partner
Confidence matters in strap-on play, and the right size helps you move naturally instead of worrying about slipping, bumping, or losing rhythm.
“Will This Hurt?” How to Make Any Size Feel Better
This is one of the most common questions our team gets, and we love answering it because it puts you back in control.
Pleasure is not supposed to feel like a test you have to pass.
Here’s what actually helps:
1) Use more lube than you think you need
Lube is not optional. It makes everything smoother, softer, and easier to enjoy.
2) Warm up first
Starting with fingers, a smaller toy, or external play can help your body relax and feel ready.
3) Go slower than your brain wants to
Your excitement may be sprinting ahead, but your body likes a confident warm-up.
4) Choose a toy you can control
If you don’t feel in charge of your toy, it’s harder to relax.
The best dildo size is one that makes you feel powerful, not pressured.
Our Staff-Approved “If You’re Not Sure, Start Here” Advice
If you’re shopping and thinking, “I truly have no idea what to choose,” here’s what we recommend as a safe, confidence-building direction:
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choose moderate length
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choose manageable width
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choose a body-safe material
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choose a shape that looks inviting, not intimidating
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choose a toy that matches how you actually like to feel
This is how most people end up with a toy they love and use often.
And if you decide you want bigger later? Amazing. You’ll get there with excitement, not regret.
Betty’s Final Word: Your Perfect Size Is the One That Makes You Feel Good
At Betty’s Toy Box, we don’t believe in one ideal dildo size.
We believe in:
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pleasure that feels natural
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exploration without pressure
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confidence that grows with experience
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choosing products that support your body, not challenge it
Whether you want something small and sweet, satisfyingly full, or deliciously bold, the right toy is out there.
And our staff is here to help you find it.
Ready to shop?
Want to dive deeper? Check out our Sex Toy Materials: the Complete Guide for help choosing between silicone, glass, and more.
About the Author: Carolyn Eagle, the Pleasure Librarian, is the founder of Betty’s Toy Box and a certified sex educator who writes about pleasure, confidence, and sexual wellness with humor, honesty, and zero shame.