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Betty's Guide to Stimulation and Delay Gels: When, Why, and How to Use Them

Stimulation and delay gels, creams, and lotions are a whole lot of fun in the bedroom, but they can also be a useful tool for folks dealing with erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, decreased arousal, or lack of natural vaginal lubrication. Let’s take a look at how they work and how to use them safely to get the most enjoyment.


These gels or creams are made specifically for the clitoris to pull blood to the surface and help with engorgement and stimulation. Although they are not lubricants, they can increase natural lubrication by increasing arousal.

You will see ingredients like capsaicin (which gives peppers their heat), menthol, niacin, arginine, and natural essential oils such as wintergreen, cinnamon, clove, and peppermint.  Read the descriptions and ingredients lists carefully because each product is slightly different. Kama Sutra Intensify Warming Female Arousal Gel will give you a warming sensation, while On Arousal Gel Ice for Her by Sensuva is an intensely cooling product. If you are looking for something gentler, you can try Intimate Earth Gentle Clitoral Gel is formulated with lower amounts of the active ingredients for folks who are extremely sensitive. If you’re looking for a completely natural choice, Sliquid Organics Stimulating O Gel has no parabens or glycerin and is made of organic, natural ingredients. All the product we carry at Betty’s are body safe and come from the very best manufacturers in the business of pleasure.


Delay gels are specifically meant for the penis and to delay ejaculation, so they can be a great tool for folks with premature ejaculation. They are a topical anesthetic that will help to slightly and temporarily desensitize the nerve endings of the penis. The most common ingredients for delay gels are benzocaine and lidocaine. Benzocaine is the active ingredient in many topical gels for oral ulcers, while lidocaine is used in ointments for scrapes and skin irritation.

One of the most powerful desensitizers available is Extra Strength Max Control Polong Gel.  


These products contain ingredients that could cause allergic reactions. We strongly recommend you follow these guidelines for first time use.

  1. Do a patch test on the inside of your elbow before using and wait a few hours to gauge reactions. If your skin turns red or you have a burning sensation, don’t proceed with the product.
  2. Use the product alone the first time so you can see how your clitoris or penis reacts to the ingredients
  3. Use VERY LITTLE the first time. The skin of your intimate areas is extremely sensitive and may react differently than your patch test. Better to want to add more than frantically trying to rub off excess


These gels or creams are meant to be rubbed on the clitoris – the top, sides, and underneath the hood. Most start working right away, and you will start to feel a warming or cooling sensation but if not, wait a few minutes and continue to massage the area before you apply more. Some ingredients do have a slight delay before you start to feel them working and you don’t want to accidentally overdo it. It is safe to reapply if you feel it starting to lose its effectiveness over time. Never put a clitoral stimulating gel or cream in the vagina or anus.


Delay gels need to be applied 5 to 15 minutes before sexual intercourse, depending on each product’s individual directions. It is important to take precautions before trying them out (see PROCEED WITH CAUTION above) so you know how you will react to the ingredients. Because you will most likely be using this for penetration, it’s a good idea to test it on your partner’s skin as well. Use the minimum amount recommended first and rub it into the shaft and head of the penis. Wait until it is fully absorbed before you attempt penetrative intercourse.



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