How to Use a Butt Plug: The Basics from Betty’s Toy Box
Introduction
Welcome to the wonderful world of butt plugs! “How do you use a butt plug?” We here at Betty’s get this question all the time. So, here is our definitive guide to getting started, what to expect, and how to choose the right butt plug for your body.
What is a Butt Plug?
A butt plug is a type of sex toy designed specifically for anal insertion. Unlike anal beads or dildos, butt plugs are often smaller, shorter, and much more beginner friendly. They have a flared base or stopper, ensuring they stay safely in place during use. They come in a wide variety of shapes, materials, and features, making them versatile for all experience levels.
Why Do People Use Butt Plugs?
Butt plugs serve many purposes:
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Pleasure: The anus is rich with nerve endings, making anal play intensely pleasurable for many.
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Preparation: For those interested in anal sex, plugs can help gradually get the body accustomed to penetration.
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Prolonged Stimulation: Some people enjoy wearing plugs for extended periods, experiencing a low-key, ongoing sense of fullness and arousal.
Addressing Common Misconceptions and Stigma
There's a lot of misinformation and unnecessary taboo surrounding anal play. The truth is, people of all genders and orientations can enjoy it. Using a butt plug doesn't mean anything about your identity—it just means you enjoy a particular kind of sensation. Pleasure is personal, and there's no shame in exploring what feels good.
Choosing the Right Butt Plug
With so many options out there, it can feel a bit overwhelming. We are going to go through some of the typical styles you will see while browsing, because it’s good to have all the information. But, we will also narrow things down to some simpler, beginner suggestions later on.
Materials
It is important that you stick to non porous materials when embarking on anal play. You may be tempted to experiment with toys you already have, but unless you know for sure they are 100% non porous materials that can be thoroughly cleaned, it’s better to buy toys dedicated to your anal explorations. Two reasons for that will be covered later on - Hygiene (poop happens) and safety (over-insertion is a risk with non anal toys).
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Silicone: Soft, flexible, and body-safe. Great for beginners and easy to clean.
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Metal: Heavier, smoother, and excellent for temperature play. Warm them up under hot water or cool them down for an extra thrill. These can range from smaller, cute plugs with gem or flower bases, to heavy plugs for experienced users.
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Glass: Firm and sleek, also great for temperature sensation and easy to sanitize.
Sizes and Shapes
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Beginners: Start small—think pinky finger width (about 1 inch) —and choose a tapered tip for easy insertion. A plug that is slightly wider in the middle with a tapered tip can also be fun for a first time user.
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Intermediate: Medium-sized plugs with a bit more girth or weight. The size of an average penis is 1.5 inches across so keep that in mind when you look at the widest point on these butt plugs.
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Advanced: Larger plugs, or plugs with girthy necks or added textures. We would consider something 1.5 inches wide and larger to be fairly advanced.
Features
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Vibrating: Adds extra stimulation for more intense pleasure. Vibrating plugs can be used with or without this feature, so you can work up to adding the extra sensations.
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Weighted: Creates a sense of fullness and increased awareness. These are considered more advanced plugs as the weights tug at the anal sphincter, making you clench more.
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Tapered vs. Bulbed: Tapered shapes slide in more easily, while bulbed plugs can provide a "popping" sensation during insertion and removal. Bulbed plugs don’t necessarily have to be large or advanced. There are many smaller bulbed plugs.
All About the Base
When choosing a butt plug, or any kind of anal toy, it’s important that it have a flared base. The anus is made of two powerful sphincters which do a really good job of keeping our poop inside. When inserting anything into the rectum, these sphincters will clench, which is part of what feels so pleasurable about anal play. In clenching, they will also draw in your butt plug. A flared base stops a toy from being over inserted and disappearing into the rectum. Unlike the vagina, the rectum has no definitive end or stopping point, so over insertion can require a trip to the doctor.
Preparation Before Use
Good preparation is key to a pleasurable experience. We recommend using the plug solo before you try wearing it with a partner or having them insert it for you. That way you’ll know what to expect and feel more relaxed when the time comes to share the experience.
Getting Ready
We know you’re all thinking it, so let’s clear the air about poop. Anatomically speaking, a butt plug (or a penis or other toy) will not be anywhere near where your poop lives. Poop is stored in the upper bowels while a plug is only going to be in contact with the anus and rectum.
Of course, bodies are complicated and there is always a chance of some poop residue hanging out in the rectum. A solution for this is anal douching if you’re very worried. Sex is messy and wonderful, and we recommend maybe keeping some wipes or tissues bedside just in case.
Now that you’ve got yourself sorted, clean your plug before and after every use with warm water and a toy-safe cleaner or mild soap. If your plug isn’t waterproof, use toy wipes instead.
Lube is Love
If you have never used a personal lubricant before, now is the time! You should never attempt any kind of anal play without a good quality lubricant at hand. While it may be tempting to crack out the petroleum jelly or coconut oil, it’s important to remember that anything oil based is not compatible with latex condoms. Oils will deteriorate the condom and cause it to break. Oils are also messier to clean up afterwards.
Here are some lube options to think about:
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Water-based lubricants: You may already have a water based lubricant handy. These are safe for all toys and easy to clean off. The downside is that they can be runny and tend to dry out when you’re having a longer play session.
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Water-based gels: These specially formulated water-based lubricants are thick and cushy plus they stay where you put them. They are fantastic for butt plugs
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Water/Silicone hybrid lubricants: Another fantastic choice for butt plugs (and anything else!), these lubes feature mostly water with just enough silicone to make them last longer and have an incredible glide
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Silicone-based lubricants: Lasts longer and is great for extended wear, but do not use with silicone toys as it can degrade the material.
- Anal specific lubricants: These are often thicker gels to give you more cushion and can include mild relaxants to help with penetration. We do not recommend any form of numbing product, since it's important to be able to feel everything that is happening to avoid injury.
Relaxation and Mindset
A relaxed body and mind make all the difference. Take your time, breathe deeply, and consider some sensual warm-up, masturbation, or self-care beforehand. A warm bath, massage, or even just some quiet time can help ease any nervous tension. This is also why we recommend experimenting on your own first, without the stress of a partner participating.
How to Insert a Butt Plug
Find the Right Position
Many people find these positions helpful:
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Lying on your side with knees pulled up
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Squatting
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Bent over slightly
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On all fours
Step-by-Step Guide
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Wash your hands and toy.
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Apply generous lube to the plug and your anus.
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Breathe deeply and gently press the tip of the plug against your opening.
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Slowly and patiently guide it in—no rush! You can try gentle, shallow thrusts to help relax the sphincter.
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Stop if you feel sharp pain—this should feel pleasurable or, at most, slightly intense.
Patience Pays Off
Use deep breathing and small circular or thrusting movements to help your body open up. Never force it. Relaxation and patience are your best friends here.
Safety Tips and Best Practices
Listen to Your Body
Discomfort, numbness, or persistent cramping are signs it’s time to stop. Trust what your body is telling you.
Avoid These Mistakes
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Skipping lube
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Using a plug that’s too large too soon
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Forgetting the flared base (it’s essential!)
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Using a toy that isn’t body-safe - made of silicone, glass, or metal
Exploring Sensations and Pleasure
Solo Play
Lots of people enjoy wearing a plug during masturbation or while using a vibrator. It can heighten sensations, especially during orgasm.
Partnered Fun
A plug can be worn during vaginal intercourse or oral sex to intensify pleasure. Just communicate clearly and make sure everyone’s on board.
Mix It Up
Try combining your plug with other toys, like G-spot stimulators or penis rings, or even include it in roleplay scenarios. The sky’s the limit!
Removing the Butt Plug
Take It Slow
Don’t yank or pull quickly. Slowly wiggle or gently twist as you remove it, taking deep breaths.
Aftercare Matters
Your body just had a new experience—treat it kindly. Some people feel sensitive or tender afterward. Use a warm cloth or shower, hydrate, and maybe cuddle up in something cozy.
Cleaning and Storage
Wash your toy thoroughly and store it in a clean, dry place. Many plugs come with storage bags—use them to keep lint and dust away.
Advanced Play and Experimentation
Long-Term Wear
If you’re interested in wearing your plug for hours, choose one designed for comfort (flexible neck, lighter weight, and a long narrow base that fits between your cheeks). Always check in with your body regularly.
Wearing in Public
It can be a thrilling and discreet form of kink—but do it safely. Start with short outings, and avoid heavy or large plugs that may shift or cause discomfort.
BDSM and Roleplay
Plugs can be used for dominance and submission dynamics, humiliation play, or sensory control. Communication, consent, and safe words are key to keeping it fun and respectful.
9. Frequently Asked Questions
Can you sleep with a butt plug in?
It’s not recommended. Overnight wear can increase the risk of discomfort or injury. Best to remove it before bed.
What if I feel pain or something feels off?
Stop immediately, remove the plug, and check in with your body. If discomfort persists, consult a medical professional.
Help! My plug is stuck!
Take deep breaths, relax your muscles, and try bearing down gently. If it still won’t come out, don’t panic—seek medical help. (It happens more often than you’d think, and doctors have seen it all!)
Exploring anal play can be exciting, pleasurable, and deeply satisfying when done safely and with care. At Betty’s Toy Box, we’re here to support you every step of the way—without judgment and with plenty of knowledge.
If you want to pick up a beginner butt plug, we have a great selection to choose from at the link below. Happy plugging! 💖
