We here at Betty's like to get the opinions of people outside of the sex toy industry to see how their opinions differ from ours. That’s how we came in contact with Anne Hodder, a multi-certified sex educator from Los Angeles who is amazing at what she does.
Let’s see what the sex educator has to say about sex toys...
When you are working with clients, do you ever recommend sex toys?
Yes absolutely! I always meet clients where they're at, and if they are looking to explore themselves, learn to orgasm, or specifically try a sex toy solo or with a partner, then I make recommendations right away.
Which ones do you recommend?
This depends of course on the person's needs, but I find myself frequently recommending smaller bullet-like vibrators for people with vulvas who are curious to try sex toys for the first time but aren't sure if they'll even like them. Bullet or finger vibes are great for clients who are comfortable with using their hands when masturbating or having sex with a partner and want to up the ante a bit, especially for people with vulvas who aren't sure if they've ever orgasmed before or have difficulty getting there. And depending on experience level, I might find myself recommending certain anal plugs, harnesses, or BDSM accessories. Nothing is really off limits for me when it comes to sex toy recommendations.
What issues do you recommend sex toys for?
- Difficulty orgasming while masturbating
- Body-acceptance and self-esteem building
- Intimacy-building with a partner
- Difficulty orgasming during penetrative sex with a partner
- Any physical ailments or disabilities that might make certain sex positions or activities difficult, painful, or uncomfortable
- General curiosity
- Prostate stimulation
- G-spot massage
- Female ejaculation training
- Vaginismus (specifically recommend dilators and, if desired, a simple clitoral massager)
- The sky is the limit, honestly.
Do you recommend sex toys for both men and women? If so, do you recommend different toys for each gender?
Of course! Sometimes, yes, but it all depends on what the client wants to feel or experience. Many wands and handheld massagers feel amazing not only on clitorises and vulvas but also testicles, penises, and perineums, and most anal toys are made for anyone with a butt hole, so it doesn't matter the gender of the person attached. The main differences I can see is when I recommend cock rings, strokers/masturbators, or prostate massagers; I most often recommend those kinds of products for people with penises and prostates (who don't always identify as men) because those types of products are designed specifically for those body parts.
Have you recommended sex toys in all of your sex education services?
I only recommend sex toys when they either can be helpful as part of a client's "homework" or treatment plan, or if a client asks for recommendations directly. If I'm teaching a general workshop about oral sex, masturbation, sex positions, and more, I usually bring sex toys along because they tend to be part of the curriculum; usually at least one tip or trick I offer involves incorporating a mini vibe, cock ring, or some other product to help pleasure come a little easier.
What do you want people to know about sex toys?
Sex toys can be super-fun, easy to use, and help you form a stronger connection with yourself. I see them as tools for exploration, learning, and loving, and they can be as special and fancy or as basic and functional as you want them to be. There are so many reputable companies out there making special, colorful, fun, and powerful products with socially conscious designs and ideals, and there is literally something out there for everyone. There's no medical definition of "normal" when it comes to sex and sexuality, so enjoy the ride and give yourself permission to try any and every sex toy that suits your fancy!