Roxi Adore is a 30 something sex worker, wife, mom, and writer. She has over 10 years in the sex work industry and loves trying new toys alone or with her husband. As a plus size babe she also helps spread body positively and acceptance for all. Find her on Twitter at www.twitter.com/RoxiAdore
Introducing toys into the bedroom with your partner can be awkward, however, it really doesn't have to be. I have used wands and dildos for many years and have never been shy about telling my partner I enjoy using them while playing solo or together. I know it isn’t that straightforward for everyone though. Here are my tips for showing your partner that your favorite pleasure products can offer him pleasure too.
First of all, you need to know what your body likes with or without toys, so you can feel confident in yourself. If you are too nervous to even introduce a toy into play time with your partner, maybe you should discuss it first. Explain that you really love using a wand when you masturbate and ask their opinion on using it together. This way they don’t freak out when they see you holding a huge corded device like The Magic Wand, with a big smile on your face.
Also, there are tons of toys made specifically for couples! Cock rings are wonderful for penis owners to experiment with and wear during sex. Rings can prolong the experience and you and your partner can have some extra fun while putting it on and taking it off.
You can also take turns using a wand on the other person's nipples or chest. Go slow and move it around their body to see where you get the most reaction. This wand may be YOUR favorite toy, but let them know that you’re willing to share it and show them the pleasure it gives. Pro tip: put that bad boy up to his balls. It will be a very happy surprise!
If your partner has never used toys or is shy about sex just take things slow. Don’t dump out your entire drawer of goodies and show them off. Talk about intimidating! The goal is for each person to be comfortable in wanting to try new ways to find pleasure together.
There are some other toys that will make sexual positions easier or better. As a plus size woman, my belly or boobs do get in the way at times, but having a long wand designed to reach right where you want it to is a lifesaver. My partner knows I enjoy using it solo and often suggests that I grab it when we are having sex too. He isn’t intimidated because he knows how much he pleases me in a variety of other ways. Using a toy just changes things up. Plus he now has found MANY ways to use my toys for his pleasure too!