Betty’s Complete Guide to Buying a Strap-on Harness

Strap-on play is a fantastic way to create further intimacy with your partner and to experiment with different styles of pleasure. If you're starting with exploring strap-on play and looking to purchase a strap-on harness, the selection can be overwhelming. Betty has a comprehensive guide to get you started on your strap-on journey.

STRAP-ON HARNESS & DILDO SETS

If you're thinking of getting a Strap-on Harness and Dildo Set, here is what you need to think about:

• Read the sizing of both the harness and dildo to make sure it will fit your needs
• Is the harness adjustable? This will lend to greater comfort
• Is the included dildo removable so it can be interchanged with something else?

BASIC STRAP-ON HARNESS STYLES

There are several different styles of harnesses out there, and here’s what you need to look for when choosing something that will be comfortable for you.

G-String Harness

Think of the underwear. These harnesses have a belt that goes from the back of the waistband down between your butt cheeks and around. Which means it will rub against your genitals, particularly if you have testicles. It would be best to consider whether you find that arousing or uncomfortable. 

Jock Strap Harness

This is a trendy style since the straps go from the back of the waist, around your thighs, to the front of the harness. Not only does this leave your genitals wide open for your partner, but it also provides you with more stability for the dildo. Pictured: The Joque Harness in black by Spareparts HardWear

Briefs and Boxers

These harnesses are growing in popularity because they can be worn under clothes discreetly, with no buckles to fuss with. They have a sewn-in, reinforced O ring so you can pack or play. Knowing your measurements and ordering accordingly is essential with these harnesses because a fit that is too baggy will give less stability to the dildo. Pictured the Packer Gear Black Boxer Packer Harness by CalExotics 

DOUBLE PENETRATION HARNESSES

Double Penetration Harnesses feature 2 openings in the front and are great for any gender because of their versatility. They can hold 2 dildos or you can use one of the openings for a penis, then add a dildo as well. 

WHAT IS AN “O” RING

The O ring is what holds the dildo in place. It is the small O-shaped piece of silicone or rubber that is either snapped onto the dildo (G-string and jock strap) or is sewn right into the fabric (briefs and boxers). It’s essential to know your ring and dildo measurements. If the ring is too tight, it can cut into the material of your dildo and break it. If it’s too loose, your dildo is going to be flopping around, and you will have trouble thrusting.

Most harnesses have interchangeable O rings that snap in place, so you can use different-sized dildos and switch them up. Remember that many harnesses only come with the one ring, so you can pick up a set like the Tantus O Ring Set (pictured above) if you want to use different sized dildos.

FINDING THE RIGHT SIZE FOR YOUR BODY

Many harnesses are adjustable, but you should still closely examine the product description to ensure it will fit you. O/S or “one size” will still have a maximum waist and thigh size, so check carefully. Boxer, underwear, and jock-style harnesses tend to run on sizes like underwear, but brands like SpareParts HardWear have very detailed measurements for you.

FINDING THE RIGHT HARNESS FOR YOUR DILDO

The easiest way to start with strap-on play is to purchase a dildo and harness set like this Bend Over Beginner Dildo and Harness Set by Tantus. It comes with two dildos, but you can swap these out for larger ones when you gain experience.

If you are more experienced with penetration and are starting your harness play with an enormous dildo, keep in mind that the larger the dildo, the heavier it will be. You will need a more substantial harness like the Fetish Fantasy Elite Heavy Duty Universal Harness if you are wielding a giant toy.

CAN ANY DILDO BE HARNESS-COMPATIBLE?

Two features make a dildo harness compatible.

The most common would be a suction cup at the base where the flared bottom acts to hold your dildo in the o-ring. If the dildo has balls, the gap between the bottom of the balls and the suction cup helps to secure the dildo in the harness

A flat based dildo should have a flare at the bottom to hold it in place.

If you're still not sure, no problem. Betty has a detailed search function within our dildo department where you can choose Harness Compatible as your desired feature.

If you’re not sure what size dildo is right for you, check out our Betty’s Guide to Dildo Size, which can give you some ideas on where to begin.