How to Use a Strap-On

Strap-on dildos can be a lot of fun but using them can be a bit confusing so let’s take a look at what they are and how you can get the most fun out of one.

WHAT IS A STRAP-ON

A strap-on is a harness plus an artificial phallic shaped appendage that can be strapped into a harness and used for sex. The appendages come in many shapes, sizes and colors, from extremely lifelike looking penis dildos to non-phallic shapes and colors. Betty’s has a huge selection you can find here.

A harness is typically worn around the hips, positioning the dildo in an approximation of where a penis would sit and allowing for hands-free movement of the dildo using the thrusting of the wearer’s hips.  Thigh harnesses are also common, where a Velcro or buckled strap affixes the dildo to the wearer’s thigh.

WHAT ARE STRAP-ONS USED FOR

Your imagination is the limit here. Strap-ons can be used for anal or vaginal penetrative sex, for oral sex simulation, for gender role play or expression, and anything else you can think of. Many folks with Erectile Dysfunction enjoy using a strap-on to allow for prolonged penetrative play with their partner.

HOW TO CHOOSE A STRAP-ON

We have an entire article called BETTY’S GUIDE TO BUYING A STRAP-ON HARNESS which is very helpful if you’re just starting out. The number of harness styles can be intimidating, not to mention selection the dildo to go along with it. Luckily, there are some dildo and harness sets, sold as one until, that can take away the guess-work.

The biggest considerations here are size and what you’re hoping to do with your strap-on. Harnesses come in different sizes, so be sure the one you choose is going to fit the wearer. The same goes for dildos. Betty’s carries virtually every size and shape of dildo but be sure you read the descriptions and BETTY’S GUIDE TO DILDO SIZE before taking the plunge. Nobody wants a dildo that is simply too long or thick for their or their partner’s body to accommodate. Better yet, have your partner select the dildo they want used on them.

GETTING STARTED: FIRST TIME USE

Getting a new strap-on is exciting and you may want to rush to the bedroom, but we advise you try it on before you plan on actually using it. Depending on the style, the buckles will need adjusting and getting your dildo into the harness for the first time may be a bit confusing.

The other thing to consider is how it feels when you wear it. If you’ve never experienced having a penis, that weight at your pelvis will take some getting used to. Similarly, if you’re using a hollow dildo in which to insert your own penis, the extension is going to be a whole new weight and feel for you. We advise you wear your strap-on around the house for a while to get used to the weight and feel before you try using it in the bedroom. The more control and comfort you have, the better it will be for your partner.

PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT

Now that you’re comfortable with your strap-on and you’re ready to go, here are some tips to make sure you’re really rocking both your worlds

1. Start slow and simple. Easy positions like missionary, spooning, or doggie style are going to let you get the feel for what you’re doing. There’s time to get more creative once you’ve had some practice.
2. Use tons of lube. This isn’t just for anal play. Lube will help cushion the pushing and will give your partner more comfort as you learn to control your thrusts.
3. Communication is key. As the person wearing the strap-on, you can’t feel what your partner is feeling so make sure you keep up a constant dialogue about how fast, how hard etc.
4. For anal play. Condoms are your best friend. Even with silicone dildos, condoms are going to make clean up that much easier and whole lot less gross.